by MAIJAX, Captain of the Pirate Ship M68 Preface — I write like an English speaking version of Gilles Deleuze. If you don’t understand a reference, that’s ok. It’s on purpose. You’re supposed to go and look it up. Don’t be a lazy fuck. Be a debrouillard. DBs are badasses…

It came to me in a dream this morning — Steely Dan is the avocado of classic rock. ”But I like avocados!” you might say. So do I. But Steely Dan is like avocados were back in the 1970s. You didn’t know if it was a vegetable or Messican voodoo…

For the past several years, Gen X has been quietly dumping its midlife crisis into the media ecosystem and just like Gen X itself, nobody really noticed. It has quietly been ignored. Slacker ennui and existential panic are a loud puff of weed stank, quickly dissipated by the wind. However…

The Frame Story: A 2200 cyborg historian on Mars is writing The 點化史, about Earth as it went through the convulsions of the late 20th century and 21st century. The turmoil started in 1973 and did not cease its reverberations until the Treaty of Brasilia in 2119. One of the…

The Weeds are not caused by busy. The weeds are caused by some other asshole not doing his own running side work. Or they’re caused by some idiot putting gold rims on the soup cups. But then that goes back to running side work. My very first server job was…

The Pyrate Democracy of Fujian, Kaohsiung, 2011, The Minor Tridiuum I had gone out Saturday night for Halloween festivities. I don’t remember if I met Beatrice at Brickyard or if we had met before and decided to go to Brickyard. I went dressed up as a Jack-rabbit and we ended…

0. Why are Star Wars names so…. MSG. They are MSG names. They’re Almost-Umami. You can taste what they’re getting at, but it’s just not the same as mackerel or mushrooms or the three step process to actually make miso soup. They taste like instant bonito soup names. “JAKRO LADORN…

On this day in history 10/24/1959… The Tri-Letter Commision rules the world. Not the TriLateral Committee. The TLC supplies the three letter abbreviations for the entire world, but especially for political movements and Internetworking. The Russians tried to create their own Tetraslovo Comitat, and created the USSR, CCCP, and various…

The Peregrine Adventurine of Gingivitis McKillerothers I. The implacable evil covered the land and dusted even the quiet corners of mens souls in that scrum brambled-over concrete. The evil could not be placked. All men could do was beseech other more benign powers for their placking. …