PETROSTATES AND THEIR STATE RELIGIONS

1. Texas is the mitochondria of the United States.

2. Texas is a petrostate, no different than Russia or The KSA. If fracking had never been developed, Texas probably would have turned blue a decade ago. The Republicans do not actually have the majority in the state. But hydrocarbon money allows Good Ol’ Boys far more influence than they should actually have. That is a whole ‘nother conversation, my fellow babies.

3. What is it with petrostates and regressive, fucked up religions? I was reading an article in the NYT yesterday about Kiril I, the Metropolitan of Moscow or whatever you call the Russian Orthodox Funniest Hat Guy.

(This is how this works — In Catholicism, if they’re dressed in brown, they can’t lift up the cracker. If they’re dressed in black, they can pick up the cracker. If they’re dressed in black and have a funny hat, they get to tell the other cracker lifters where and what time during the week they have to lift the cracker. If they’re dressed in black, but aren’t called “Father”, they erecred a roof where the guys in black can pick up the cracker. If they are dressed in red AND have a funny hat, they can tell the guys dressed in black where and when to pick up the cracker AND get to choose which dude tells them to pick up the cracker. That dude has the funniest hat AND speaks Latin to make his wine, beer, and liquor order. I’m assuming Orthodoxy has a similar color co-ordinated funny hat distinction.)

Anyway, Kiril I has been utterly coopted by Putin, Aleksandr Dugin, and the Moscow as Third Rome/”Eurasianism” variant of European Fascism. The Kingdom of Sociopathic Assholes has Wahabism. The Russians have Eurasianist Orthodoxy. Texans have American Gnosticism — The holiest of holies for The American Gnostics is First Baptist in downtown Dallas.

So what is it about oil and really shit versions of your otherwise decent religion? I wonder what the overlap between Prosperity Gospel and the Oil Bidness is? It’s not really surprising that the Holiest of Holies for the Prosperity Gospel Heresy is in Houston — I’m referring to Joel Osteen’s den of serpents.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store