Plants Floating in Alcohol

If you ever want to get your hands toughened up for kung fu wacking or jujitsu thumping, you have to train Iron Palm. Which involves methodically punching a bag full of mung beans, then a telephone book, then wood, then granite, then steel. After a period of three years, you should be able to pierce a man’s skull with a Phoenix Eye Fist. But after every Iron Palm training session, you must rub your hands with dit da jow or 鐵打酒 （https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dit_da_jow.) Otherwise, you will be afflicted with 花拳繡腿 — “Flower Fists and Brocade Kicks” and will be laughed at by all who know. Basically, you’ll be one of those limp dick Olympic Wushu Commie bitches.

This Five Photo Brand was what I used in South Florida (twenty fucking years ago. Jesus!) These are the ingredients:

“Menthol, Camphor, alcohol, alisma plantago-aquatica subsp. orientale root , angelica dahurica root, angelica sinensis root, atractylodes lancea root, atractylodes macrocephala root, cinnamomum cassia twig, citrus aurantium fruit, cullen corylifolium fruit, cuscuta chinensis seed, cyperus rotundus tuber, dioscorea villosa tuber, erycibe obtusifolia stem, fennel seed, frankincense, gleditsia sinensis fruit, ligusticum sinense subsp. chuanxiong root, myrrh, notopterygium franchetii root, paeonia x suffruticosa root bark, panax notoginseng root, polygonatum sibiricum root, polysorbate 80, prunus armeniaca seed, purified water, and tangerine peel.”

Obviously, don’t consume Five Photo Brand, but what is the difference in essence between dit da jow and Angostura or any other kind of bitters? Or any amaro? They’re all kind of the same — plants floating in alcohol.

So, the real question is this — Can you train Iron Palm with Campari?