Sandro the Reluctant God, part I

I.

The people of Iron Valley invented me three weeks ago Thursday. I resent this. I have already been invoked six times. Apparently I have the body of a bird and the tail of a lizard. I’m unsure if I’m a humanoid. I feel very much like a humanoid and would appreciate a humanoid form. It makes coming and going much simpler.

As I said, I have been invoked six times. I don’t know if this is true need, desperation, or simply a vetting process for new deities. I’m still unclear as to my role with these people. Or their cosmovision. They seem a fairly agricultural sort with a warrior component. They are absolutely terrrified of the river. Which having had a glimpse of briefly on Monday, I completely understand. It’s a big damn river, probably very dangerous. I most certainly could not swim across it.

The first invocation happened Thursday. An elderly woman cried out around a morning cook fire and collapsed. I stood around as the other women of the community hurried to her aid. Being recently invoked, I was unsure of my exact course of action. Was she sick? Scared? Did she need medical intervention? What exactly is my role here, lady? I watched as they carried her into one of the nice little places they live in. Brilliant idea that. It’s like a cave, but without rocks. Much softer. And they just construct them out here on the edge of the trees but kind of away from that river.

The second time a group of men were in the adjacent area of trees, pursuing huntables. I supppse they later eat them. A medium sized one whispered my name as he took aim. This meant I had to stand in the middle of all the trees for an interminable amount of time as the man attempted to kill dinner. Seems like a colossal waste of time, exposing yourself to a logical death trap. Why would you perspire so much for such a small caloric reward? Once again, I was unsure as to why I was there. Was my role to steady his hand? His heart? Freeze his prey with my mind? I ended up blowing on his arrow as he fired in the hopes that would accelerate its flight. I was successful. I believe myself to now be the divinity of aspirational weapons.

The third was irrelevant, simply being teenage boys trying to impress girls of the village. One of them was quite reckless, but the girls are smitten with him. These people barely have enough to eat and his behavior seems irrational. That he had the caloric energy for much of his actions is very surprising.

The fourth time was also in the area of trees. A young woman of the village arranged herself there. One of the men joined her. After their initial metrications, they began barking. I arrived at some point approximately midway, barked into existence by the woman. This was the most clear of the invocations. I had no purpose and the couple seemed to be enjoying themselves. I looked around at the trees. The quantity of huntables was quite astounding.

I would relay the occasion of the fifth time, but the people of Iron Valley have made it unspoken to speak of anything in fives. This makes absolutely no sense, but I am obliged to uphold this sort of deisidaimoniacality.

The sixth time an old man sat by himself thinking of his youth. Quietly, tears rolled down his checks. Thinking he might need to hunt something, I blew on his face.

I am profoundly unsure of my role with these people.

II.

Well, it turns out I ward off lethargy, cowardice in battle, stinky urine, injury from trees in the forest, and protection from hail. I don’t even know what hail is.

For weeks, I had considered myself the sole deity of these people. It was quite a task. However, yesterday was some sort of calendrical event punctuated with a very long list of names paired with verbs. Which resulted in my meeting several of the other gods. Half of them are absolutely gorgeous. Half of them are not. One of them is particularly galling, an intolerable swishy sort prone to jumping and furtive movements. His is a body of fur, not unlike the huntables in the area of trees. His mouth is full of insouciance.