The Chronicle of the Franciscan

The Common Places of Siliconía
2 min readApr 8, 2020


The Chronicle of The Franciscan

Anno Domini 1585, The Whore Queen Elizabeth I issued letters of marque to fishermen, gondoliers, dandies, and beggars throughout Albion. Her goal was to create a fleet in being that could be called upon with lightning speed when the existential threat of The Spanish Armada came to retrieve the bitch and her whelps and return them unto The Lord. The consequence, she would claim unintended, was to hasten the spread of The Pyratical Career in El Atlantico Norte for the next 120 years. They would claim to be privateers and agents of the English Crown. Christendom would disagree quite demonstrably with this claim, and stalk this heretic scourge on the sea as vigorously as had been done for centuries on land.

One of the first of these privateers was Thomas Cavendish, a minor nobleman known as much as for pissing away his fortune on mule faced Aenglish women as for drunkenly murdering his underlings. In 1586, he provisioned three vessels with crew and munitions and intended to sail around the world, in pale imitation of the previous circumnavegacion of our great Magellanes. By the end of 1586, he had begun raiding along the coastline of America del Sur, crossing into El Pacifico in 1587.

En Primavera 1587, Felipe II, El Catolico Majestad, ordered agents of the Crown of the Holy Roman Empire to muster from Nueva España and encounter Cavendish where they might find him. Y acabar con la situacion con perjuicio extremo.

En Noviembre 1587, Cavendish raided the Nahuatl speaking village of Huatulco. In the sacking, rape, and plunder of the village, the mysterious and marvelous ways of The Lord played itself out. As foreseen by the Crown, Cavendish inserted a small advance team of Saxon operatives. In the flames and smoke, what Cavendish did not observe was that The Crown inserted an unobtrusive Agent of Christ to act as spy and saboteur. The following is the Chronicle of the Franciscan.

This is the beginning of Part O.