The Only Minor Shakespearean Sex Comedy to Come Out of Hurricane Katrina. Chapter Zero TL/DR
Here’s an itemized TL;DR version of “The Sisters Take McNallycat’s Walking Tour of New Orleans” — broken into days, sections, and key recs with notes.
Tone Note:
Deeply personal, poetic, haunted, funny, drunk, and bittersweet. The narrator has strong NOLA PTSD and reverence.
DAY 1 — French Quarter (FQ), Marigny, and Haunted Bars
1. Get situated:
Check into hotel, lace up shoes.
Don’t linger — go straight to:
2. Napoleon House
Classic New Orleans.
Drink: Sazerac
Eat: Red beans & rice
Vibe: Colonial, baroque, haunted elegance.
Website
3. Cafe du Monde
Coffee: Café au lait
Food: Beignets
Enjoy the Vietnamese waitresses if early.
Across from: Jackson Square & the levee — pay respects to the Mississippi River (aka The Father of All Waters).
4. Decatur Street
Eat: Coop’s Place — Gumbo + punk vibes.
Former Little Sicily, mob roots.
Visit French Market for a Muffuletta.
5. Frenchman Street
Eat: Port of Call (Burgers)
Jazz Clubs:
Snug Harbor
Apple Barrel
Spotted Cat (almost got shot there)
Former: Cafe Brazil (gone now)
6. Royal Street & Esplanade
Bar: R Bar — wild stories, great vibe.
Bar: Cosimo’s — cool people, Lower 9th magic.
Avoid Rampart Avenue — too rough.
7. Bourbon Street (Night)
Gay bars: Oz, etc. — loud & fun.
Strip club: Rick’s Cabaret (best one).
Classic Bars:
Lafitte’s Blacksmith
Erin Rose
Avoid most other Bourbon garbage
8. Chartres & Canal Area
Food: Alibi’s roast beef po’boy.
Bar Cluster:
The Jemini — intensely haunted
Back Space — charming
Sneaky Pete’s — bartender: Krummel, best in the biz
DAY 2 — Uptown via Streetcar
1. Breakfast:
Desire Oyster Bar — classy, fried green tomatoes + Bloody Mary
Website
2. Ride the Streetcar
Board at Canal & Carondelet, go Uptown
Optional: Stop at WWII Museum (huge)
Pass:
Lee Circle (now renamed)
I-10 Bridge (blighted area)
Enter: Lower Garden District > Garden District
Look out for: streets named after Muses & Napoleon’s battles
3. Universities & Park
See: Loyola (Touchdown Jesus), Tulane
Walk: Audubon Park — trees, moss, Southern vibes
4. Riverbend
Eat: Cooter Brown’s — oysters, muffulettas, cheese fries
Bars nearby:
Quills
Bruno’s
Philips
Snake and Jake’s Christmas Club Lounge — legendary, crazy, Uber only
DAY 2 (continued) — Magazine Street
Walk & Drink in Garden District
Music: Les Bon Temps Roule — Soul Rebels sometimes play
Bars to check out:
Parasol’s (St. Pat’s HQ)
Miss Mae’s — cheapest dive
Balcony Bar, Rum House, The Rendezvous Tavern
Fancy pick: The Delachaise — wine bar
Website
DAY 3 (or 4?) — Catholic Guilt + Chill
1. Mass (Optional but epic):
St. Louis Cathedral (classic choice)
Or: Immaculate Conception Jesuit Church — gorgeous & odd
Link
2. River & Food Fun
Ride: Natchez / Creole Queen / Cajun Queen Riverboats
Fancy restaurants:
Restaurant R’evolution
GW Fins
Classics: Galatoire’s, Antoine’s (old-school, tough to get in)
Hidden gems: Dooky Chase’s, Clancy’s, Martinique Bistro
3. Music & Weird Stuff
Buskers — best street musicians in the country
Audubon Insectarium — museum of bugs, he hasn’t been
Ghost Tours — cheesy but fun
Buy: Marie Laveau Magic Powder (wink)
Final Notes:
Don’t walk alone drunk.
Stick together.
Stay aware.
Let yourself get fucked up, but safely.
The ghosts are real.
New Orleans is haunted, holy, and hungover.
